FRiiiiiDaayyyYYY. Do you ever start typing a sentence and you're halfway through writing because you're Pam Beasley and you type 90 words per minute (I don't) and you don't realize the caps lock button is on so your sentence tURns oUt liKE tHis??
Anyway, we have someone staying with us! He's visited us twice, eh, maybe thrice since we moved to our apartment in Fairmount. But we love guests! As far as house guests go he's pretty laid-back, kind of the quiet type so our neighbors are cool with it. So I'm all, do you need anything, a cheese plate, some peanut butter and crackers? We have a lovely apple butter to go with a sharp white cheddar! And classic Ted, that's his name, is all like "lady just let me chill behind the stove and listen to The Office while you're at work all day."
Did I mention that Ted's a mouse? Ted's a mouse. He's teeny, but he exists. And I almost screamed at 6:10 this morning when I saw him romping around when I was trying to take Maggie outside.
I then recreated the classic 1997 Nathan Lane masterpiece, Mousehunt. I tiptoed around in a scarf, pajama pants and coat (again, I was all ready to walk Maggie in the freezing cold) weilding a bowl that I thought at 6am was a good vessel to trap the bastard (sorry for calling you a bastard, Ted, I'm sure you're very pleasant). He shot under the tv stand and I mentally barfed at his existence. And I lost him. I LOST HIM. He is still existing in the apartment (well, he could have escaped into the hallway by now and into a different apartment for all I know) and I have to deal with his nonsense when I get home from work. I gave Maggie permission to stomp on him if given the chance, but I asked her to be nice about it. I don't want her to get a rude or entitled personality.
SO my thought is, we have the mouse traps, we have a sharp cheddar. If I were being lured to my untimely death in a very cozy-chic apartment (who am I kidding? Ted knows I can't decorate for shit) I would want to be fed at least a good sharp white cheese with maybe a horseradish mustard or apple butter first. I feel like Ted would like apple butter. I got it at a farm in New Jersey.
That's my Friday night plan. Pretty exciting stuff! In lighter, more fun and non-mouse news, it's Patrick's birthday weekend! I have to run out in the morning to get his present from Maggie, and then we might go bowling. We've really become a bowling couple and I weirdly love it? But it's supposed to be cold as balls tomorrow so I'm very excited for an indoor activity. Ted, if you're reading this: no partying and drinking our wine while we're bowling.